


Exit Wounds

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine broke up with Kurt. The problem is that the reasons for the breakup are understandable. But Kurt doesn't want to hear it. He dives into his job with blinders up, and his old insecurities come back with a vengeance. What eventually gets him back to his sassy, fabulous self is a once nemesis turned close friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: i want kurt to be all giggly drunk hitting on sebastian and trying to feel him up and sebastian takes him to his apartment and kurt thinks they’re going to get their cuddle on but sebastian lays him down in his bed, takes (most) of his clothes of tucks him under the covers, presses a kiss to his forehead and goes to sleep on the couch
> 
> Made a few changes...but I think the essence is there.
> 
> *** Changed the title to something that is a bit less of a mouth full ***

 

Kurt is drunk. Very, very drunk.

Understandably so considering that he had very recently broken up with Blaine in a supposedly mutual way. Sebastian called bullshit on that. One look at Kurt when he walked in to Scandals was enough to know that Kurt was anything but okay.

Sebastian was still surprised that he knew Kurt well enough to be able to read him this way. After all the drama that went down during Kurt’s senior year the air between himself, Kurt and Blaine was settled and they somehow managed a rather dysfunctional friendship. Blaine was the mediator between Kurt and Sebastian who, despite being friends, couldn’t stop their routine of exchanging tongue lashings and insults, though the malice behind their words had turned to nothing more than friendly teasing.

Then Kurt graduated. The distance became too much for Blaine and so on Kurt’s most recent visit to Ohio it was decided that they should be apart. At least for now. Though it was clear that in truth, they were likely to only ever be friends from that point on.

And now here he was, playing big brother to a drunk Kurt who was enjoying himself perhaps a tad too much. Kurt made regular stops to the bar where Sebastian was keeping watch in order to refortify himself between giggles and flirtatious touches before melting back into the middle of the dance floor (before Sebastian had any kind of chance to react), dancing with whomever was next to him at any given moment.

Sebastian kept a very watchful eye and was regularly forced to dance the latter half of a song in order to keep the more handsy patrons from taking advantage of his friend. As the night progressed this became a much more common occurrence, so Sebastian found himself glued to the dance floor. Kurt didn’t seem to mind. He danced very close to Sebastian, hands finding their way against Sebastian’s arms, shoulder or waist. And Sebastian didn’t mind.

This was a new context in which for Sebastian to see Kurt. For the entire time that they’d known each other it had always been KurtandBlaine and Sebastian. Any physical contact between the two of them had always been very platonic. A good-bye hug or a pat on the shoulder. The contact had always been brief with no hidden subtext. This new development seemed to come from no where. Kurt was single. He wasn’t KurtandBlaine anymore. Now he was just Kurt.

And just Kurt was now clinging very closely to Sebastian as the song switched to something slower than the techno that had been spilling out through the speakers all night.

“What do you say we take a breather,” Sebastian suggested, hoping to end what he thought might become an awkward memory for Kurt in the morning.

“Nope,” Kurt managed in a slightly airy tone, “Wanna keep dancing with you.” He smiled and rested his head against Sebastian’s chest as they swayed out of time with the song.

“Okay. We’ll keep dancing.” Sebastian just didn’t have the heart to tell his friend no. To put an end to what little bit of joy he might be clinging to. Though he made sure to keep his hands in a very respectable position.

As they swayed Kurt’s head began to angle towards Sebastian’s neck, breath warm and damp. Sebastian coughed and adjusted their position slightly in an attempt to discourage Kurt. Of course, Kurt is nothing if not persistent. His hands began to stroke Sebastian’s back and arms, slowly making their way to Sebastian’s ass.

“Easy there, Tiger.” Sebastian laughed as he removed Kurt’s hands and placed them in a less promiscuous position.

Kurt grinned as he let his hands fall back down to Sebastian’s ass and whispered into his ear, “Easy is exactly what I’m being right now, Seb.”

Sebastian groaned. This was going to get out of hand very quickly. “So, maybe we should get out of here,” he suggested.

Kurt’s eyes lit with a very unfamiliar fire as he agreed.

They made their way from the club after Sebastian paid off their tab. Since Sebastian wanted to keep a clear head while he watched out for Kurt he was sober and able to drive them back to his place. The drive to Sebastian’s house was filled with Kurt making every attempt possible to touch Sebastian’s knee or thigh, and Sebastian trying to dissuade him so that he could focus on getting them to his house without driving into oncoming traffic or a street lamp.

They pulled up to Sebastian’s house and made their way inside. Kurt was familiar enough with the house and immediately made his way to Sebastian’s room, his mind clearly having gone to a very specific place with very specific intentions. Sebastian followed, unsure of how to proceed from here. He refused to take advantage of Kurt in any way (even though he had in fact noticed the way Kurt’s pants clung in just the right way and since when could Kurt dance like that??) but he didn’t want to reject him outright which might make him feel even worse than he was likely to feel in the morning.

So deep in his own thoughts Sebastian was caught off guard as he entered his room and Kurt slammed him into the wall and hugged him tightly, nuzzling into his shoulder.

Well crap.

“Kurt,” Sebastian gently rubbed Kurt’s shoulders as he put a bit of distance between the two of them. “Why don’t you just let me take care of you?”

Kurt smiled up at him with that same unfamiliar fire in his eyes. “That sounds perfect, Seb.”

Hearing that nickname sent a shiver down Sebastian’s spine. But, tonight at least, he had no intention of acknowledging it.

Sebastian slowly manoeuvred Kurt towards the bed and sat him down. He carefully removed Kurt’s boots and undid his pants (though those were much more of a challenge than he expected). Luckily Sebastian wasn’t shy about the male anatomy and managed to keep things completely chaste.

The whole time Kurt had his eyes closed as he smiled at the contact, oblivious that the night was not going to go the way he clearly hoped it would. As Sebastian undid the buttons on Kurt’s shirt Kurt shimmied so that he was fully on the bed, lifting only to help Sebastian shed the shirt.

Knowing how Kurt was about his clothes, Sebastian took the time to fold them and put them on top of the dresser. When he returned to Kurt, he fallen asleep. Sebastian smiled. Despite all the crap of the last week, Kurt didn’t look so sad in that moment. If he was sure of one thing it was that Kurt should never be sad. It just didn’t suit him.

He went to his closest and found a spare blanket to drape over Kurt, not wanting to disturb him in order to get him beneath the ones already on the bed. He stood next to Kurt for a moment, just looking at him look so at peace. Carefully, he bent over and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead after which he smoothed a few stray strands of hair.

“Goodnight, Kurt,” he whispered, barely audible even to himself. He quietly pulled some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the dresser and made his way out of the room. He’d be sleeping in the guest room tonight. As he reached for the door nob to leave his room he heard Kurt mumble, “Thank you, Seb.”

“You’re welcome, Kurt.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What was supposed to be a one shot is turning into a multi-chapter fic. I have the next two chapters outlined with more to be added. Comments will keep me motivate ;)
> 
> Also...not beta'd. I tried to catch as many errors as I could during re-reading, but I am no editor.

When Kurt woke the next morning it was to the harsh glare of the sun reflected off of the dresser mirror. He turned over and pulled a pillow over his head while the lack of hydration caught up to him and he groaned at the headache he knew he’d be suffering from, likely for the rest of the day.

When it became clear that he wouldn’t be falling back asleep, he rolled onto his back and pushed himself up. As his eyes focused he took in his surroundings.

 _What am I doing at Sebastian’s??_  

He looked down at himself.

_Where the hell are my clothes?_

His mind instantly scrambled to recall last night. He remembered going to Scandals. He remembered running into Sebastian there. He remembered dancing with anyone and everyone, but beyond that everything was a blur of flashing lights, music, alcohol and sweat. He rubbed his eyes, hoping that some indication of how he got here might come back to him. 

Then he noticed that he was still wearing his underwear. That was a good sign.

He noticed his clothes sitting on the dresser and groggily made his way to get dressed. Once fully clothed he crept from the room to find Sebastian, whom he found passed out in the guest room.

_Thank you, Gaga!_

Knowing that Sebastian had slept in there was a welcome relief. The last thing he needed was for their friendship to crumble on top of his now failed relationship with Blaine. Smiling, he silently toed his way to the kitchen. Sebastian had clearly taken the time to get Kurt to bed safe last night, so the least he could do was make him breakfast, even if he felt like death warmed over.

 

***************************************************************************************************

 

Sebastian woke up when the smell of coffee and bacon wafted into the guest room. 

Waking up was as troublesome as ever. Beds being one of Sebastian’s favourite places, whether alone or not. Still, his stomach made it no secret that he was famished and he rolled out of bed and made zombie like steps towards the kitchen.

When he got there he laughed.

The stove was turned off and two plates were piled with bacon, eggs and toast. Two very large cups of coffee poured. Kurt, head cradled in his arm was asleep at the table.

He gently tousled Kurt back to consciousness. “C’mon, Tiger. If you’re going to pass out at least do it on the couch.” 

Kurt shot up, hand going immediately to his temple as the sudden head rush made him waver where he sat. “I’m fine.”

“I highly doubt that.” Sebastian slouched down to look Kurt in the eye. “I won’t be offended if you need to pass out again.”

“Really, Sebastian. I’m fine.”

Sebastian kept his response to an unconvincing nod and turned his attention to his breakfast as Kurt did the same. “You know you didn’t have to make breakfast, right?”

“I know…but even with my complete lack of memory of last night I was able to deduce that you likely went out of your way to take care of me. Consider this pay back for my ruining your night.” 

“You looked like you needed to blow off some steam. I didn’t want to be the one to spoil your fun.”

“Well — whatever your reason. Thanks.”

The nice-ness, while welcome, felt entirely out of place to Sebastian. Without the shield of their perfected snark, things were beginning to feel a bit too… real.

Sebastian cleared his throat, “Yeah well, don’t get used to it. Can’t have you getting in the way of me getting a good lay.”

Kurt, who had been enjoying that rare moment of nice-Sebastian, stared at him. His face turning from a soft smile to a scowl. “Well, that was short-lived.” Kurt stood up. “I’ll be sure to take my shattered love-life somewhere it won’t interfere with your extra-curricular activities.” Kurt turned to leave. “Safe to assume the navigator is still at Scandals?”

“That would in fact be a safe assumption. No way was I going to leave my car there.” Sebastian made a conscious effort to avoid looking at Kurt, his gaze focused on his plate and the coffee he was nursing in his hands.

Sebastian heard Kurt scoff followed by the sound of footsteps leaving towards the front door that clicked open before slamming shut. Sebastian flinched at the sound but didn’t move from where he sat. 

Kurt wasn’t sure what it was he had been expecting. Truthfully he didn’t expect to see Sebastian at Scandals last night. He had just wanted to dance in a haze and get some form of attention to distract him from his own head space. He had been single for just under a week and wasn’t sure how he was supposed to come to terms with that fact. Blaine had been such a huge part of his life for so long that he wasn’t sure he remembered how to be on his own anymore. 

But he didn’t want to come to terms with it. Not yet.

As he stood outside of Sebastian’s house it occurred to him.  _How am I supposed to get to Scandals?_  He breathed in as he turned to head back inside. 

Sebastian couldn’t help but grin as he heard the door open. He was loading up the dishwasher and kept on with the task, refusing to seem like he was anticipating exactly what Kurt had failed to realize. He heard Kurt stomp back towards the kitchen, his footsteps falling silent once he was in the archway.

“Forget something there, Princess?” Sebastian still didn’t look towards Kurt.

“I need a ride.”

“Well as you can see I’m not exactly prepared to leave the house.” Sebastian motioned at his very not for public consumption attire of sweatpants (with a very un-elastic-like waist) and tattered t-shirt. “If you want a ride you’ll have to wait until I’m good and ready.”

“Well  _I_  can’t sit around waiting for you all day.” Kurt huffed back in response.

Sebastian finally turned to face Kurt. Annoyed. He wasn’t sure why he was annoyed. It wasn’t as though he had any reason to be. But something in Kurt just prodded at him and brought it out of him. “Had I known it would be such an inconvenience I would have left you to the mercy of Scandal’s finest. But here we are. So if you want a ride you’re just going to have to wait.”

Kurt sighed in defeat, too tired to put up any kind of fight. “Fine. Wake me up when you’re ready.” He left the kitchen once more to collapse onto the couch, face first into a throw pillow to shield his eyes from the morning sun light. 

Sebastian really didn’t have any reason to delay driving Kurt to pick up his car. All he really needed was a shower. But for somehow he felt like if Kurt were to leave now he wouldn’t be as okay as he seemed like he was trying to be. So he busied himself with tidying up the kitchen before heading to the bathroom for that much needed shower.  

He took his time. Spending a lot more time under the hot water than was needed. Eyes closed he thought back to when there was still a  _KurtandBlaine_ , trying to make sense of the whole breakup. Despite Sebastian lacking any kind of romantic bone, they had become the measure of what a healthy relationship should be. But now that that was no longer the case there had to have been some kind of sign that things were on a downward spiral.

But there was nothing. At least nothing that Sebastian could recall. But all the same here he was, watching Kurt as he teetered near the ledge of his emotional chasm. 

Regardless of any affection that was shown the previous night, it was all owed more to a lack of sobriety and a craving for attention than to any kind of feelings. Kurt just needed a friend. So a friend he would be. That meant that the snark had to be kept up.

As he dressed and made his way to Kurt’s sleeping form on the couch, Sebastian took one last moment of peaceful quiet before waking Kurt. Just like last night, Kurt looked restful. As much as he hated to do it, he shoved Kurt’s shoulder. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty! You’re chariot isn’t going to wait on you.”

Kurt startled awake, his headache slightly less than it had been. “You are insufferable…” he groaned. 

“And you’re a pain in my ass. But here we are, friends and stuck with one another. At least for the next 20 minutes or so. Now get up!” Sebastian shoved Kurt’s feet off the couch before heading towards the front door.

They drove to Scandal’s in silence, the radio the only sound keeping them sane and distracting them from thinking too hard. As much as Sebastian would have like to have asked Kurt if he was okay, to try to give some degree of comfort and to be someone Kurt could talk to, that just wasn’t part of their friendship. It was now occurring to him that the main reason they were friends was because of Blaine. 

Pulling into the parking lot at Scandal’s, Kurt was unbuckled and reaching the door handle before Sebastian could come to a complete stop. 

“Thanks,” Kurt muttered, hardly audible. 

“Yeah.” Before Kurt could close the door, “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?” There was a softness in Sebastian’s voice. It was unfamiliar enough that Kurt stopped in his tracks and looked at him, eyes focused and searching for the source. All morning Sebastian had been switching off between hot and cold and with the hang over and every other overwrought thought passing through his head, he was just to exhausted to add anything else to his plate.

“I’m fine. Just going to grab some coffee to go from the Lima Bean and then head home.” Kurt smiled, more to reassure Sebastian than any other reason.

Not wanting to push the issue, Sebastian nodded before Kurt closed the door and headed towards his navigator. He sat in silence, his mind trying to read into every word Kurt had said, every gesture he had made.  _Fine…_  Kurt had said. Sebastian shook his head, annoyed that he was getting pulled into this emotional train wreck but helpless to resist it.  _You care more than you’re willing to admit,_ he thought to himself. It was true. He did care. But just as he thought it, he wouldn’t dare admit it out loud.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine have their first encounter since their breakup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no beta. Sorry for spelling errors.

Driving to the Lima Bean, Kurt felt awful. But he reveled in it; the constant throb at his temples like a metronome keeping his thoughts in check. He likened it to punching a wall to make you forget that your foot hurts. And forgetting was at the top of his list of things to do. He wanted to forget the weirdness of that morning. To forget why he had been at Scandals the night before. To forget that he was alone.

He pulled in at the Lima Bean and sat still for a few moments before turning off the engine. The autumn air was still warm and the air conditioning was a welcome relief. He focused of the thrum of his pulse.\

Inhale. Exhale.

Finally, he made his way inside. As he entered he quickly surveyed the room. More a habit of people watching than looking for anyone. But there he was. Blaine.

Kurt quickly averted his gaze and mechanically made his way to the order at the counter. Arms wrapped tightly around himself, a useless attempt at making himself small and invisible. He spoke softly, barely loud enough for the barista to hear. Every few moments, against his better judgment he would steal a glance Blaine’s way. He seemed in a good mood. While Kurt waited for his drink he then noticed that Blaine wasn’t alone. He was with a guy that Kurt had never seen before and was holding his hand, fingers rubbing along the stranger’s knuckles.

He froze, eyes wide. Barely keeping himself together.

“Sir?” The sharp voice from the barista startled his daze.

“Yes?”

“Your mocha.” She nudged the beverage towards him.

“Right. Thank you.” He grabbed it without much thought that it was very hot and made his way to escape before Blaine could notice him there.

But of course, Blaine did notice. “Kurt?”

Kurt ignored the call of his name. He couldn’t do this. Not now, not when it was still too fresh. Not when he wasn’t ready to deal with it. So he ran. It wasn’t graceful, and later he would curse himself for looking like an idiot. But fight or flight instincts took over and weighed heavily towards flight.

He didn’t count on Blaine following him to the parking lot.

“Kurt, please wait!”

Kurt leaned his hands on his car, eyes closed and tense. “What do you want?” he voice weakly.

“I just -“”

“You just what?!” Kurt spun to face him, eyes red with unshed tears.

“I didn’t think I’d see you before you left.” Blaine spoke softly, hopeful that Kurt wouldn’t shoot him down.

Kurt stared at him. Stared into his star-filled eyes and saw the boy he was in love with. The boy who didn’t love him anymore. The boy who had broken his heart. Coldly he asked, “Is that all?”

The light in Blaine’s eyes dimmed. “Are..are you okay? We didn’t really talk after. I just - I want to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m not okay. But there isn’t anything you can do about it.” Movement at the entrance caught Kurt’s attention and he saw that the stranger that Blaine was with was standing there. “You better get back. You’re date looks lonely.” He got into the navigator and took his time putting his coffee into the cup holder and adjusting the mirror.

Blaine wanted to say something. Shoulders slumped, he did as Kurt said and headed back inside.

When the door to the cafe closed, Kurt broke a little. Hands squeezing tightly on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. Still, he refused to cry. A few minutes later he was pulled from his mind by a tap on his window. His head shot up to look and was immediately annoyed to see Sebastian’s smirking face, but he rolled down the window.

“I thought you said you’d be going straight home to nurse your hangover, Princess.” Sebastian leaned casually into the car.

“I was just leaving.”

“Didn’t look that way that way to me.”

“Well clearly you aren’t as observant as you’d like to think.”

“Oh I can assure you that I am very observant.”

“Look, Sebastian. I feel like crap and just want to go home. Please… just go away.”

Sebastian’s gaze softened. “Sure.”

 

Sebastian wasn’t an idiot. Within seconds of pulling into the Lima Bean he noticed Blaine walking away from a navigator. He saw Kurt sitting stiffly in his car, hands squeezing the steering wheel a little too firmly. Talking to him he could see that his eyes were red, and not from his hangover.

He knew it had everything to do with Blaine.

So he let Kurt go without pushing the issue. If he wanted to know what had happened, he would have a much easier time getting it from Blaine.

He strode directly to Blaine, ignoring the guy who was sitting with him. He spun an unused chair and straddled it, arms resting on the back rest. He looked Blaine straight in the eye.

“So what went down with Hummel?” Sebastian was nothing if not direct.

“Sebastian? What are you doing here?” There was a hint of please not right now in Blaine’s voice.

Sebastian ignored it, not caring that they weren’t alone. “Again I’ll ask, what went down with Hummel?”

Blaine turned to the guy, “I’m really sorry about this, I’ll be right back.” Blaine stood up and motioned for Sebastian to follow him.

Once outside again Sebastian took note that Kurt had left. Good, the last thing I’d need is him giving me a tongue lashing for interfering.

“What happened? The last time I checked the two of you were on the fast track to forever. Plus you and I hang out all the time now that Hummel’s in the big city and not once did you ever mention something was wrong. And who the hell was Mr. Random in there?”

Blaine breathed deeply.

“I’m going to be brief and direct because I don’t want to make Alex wait too long. If you still aren’t satisfied, which I know will be the case, we can talk later.” Blaine widened his eyes questioningly, hoping that Sebastian would take the crumbs he was currently willing to offer.

“Fine.”

“You’re right. Kurt and I were on the fast track to spending out lives together. Then he left. Yes, it was at my own insistence. Lima was killing him and I couldn’t bear it. But it never occurred to me how different things would be with him in New York and me still here. I met Alex, and he turned out be a great listener. He understood what I was going through. It was purely platonic. I didn’t cheat on Kurt and I never once thought that that would ever be an option.” He inhaled. “The longer Kurt and I were apart the less frequent our phone calls, texts, and skype dates became. And suddenly…suddenly I found myself not waiting for his calls. I didn’t anticipate hearing from him, at least not in a romantic way. I loved hearing about his adventures in New York and he’s by far my best friend…” Blaine inhaled deeply, forehead creased. “I fell out of love. I never brought any of it up with you because you are his friend too and it wouldn’t have been fair to put you into the middle of it.”

Sebastian wasn’t completely satisfied with the explanation, but he knew that Blaine would sit down with him and explain more fully like he said he would. But he couldn’t let go of one thing.

“And what? After less than a week of being single you’re already dating Mr. Random?” Before Blaine could interrupt, “ - Yes that’s what I’ll be calling him from now on.”

Blaine sighed.

“I had checked out of my relationship with Kurt a while before we officially broke up. I know I might seem cold-hearted to you right now, but it’s not like we’re just jumping into being in a relationship. It’s just a date.”

“Blaine, if I know anything about you, it’s that it’s never just a date. You have a tendency to jump with both feet, usually head first.”

“Can...Can we talk about this later.” In that moment Blaine looked defeated and tired. And very uncomfortable with where the conversation was heading.

That was the trouble for Sebastian. Banter with Kurt, bro down with Blaine. That was easy. But the way things were at that moment made it really hard. He knew the situation had nothing to do with him, but it still managed to affect him. And since he really didn’t want to push away his closest friends, he backed down.

“Fine. Text me when you have time. But don’t think I’m letting this go.”

Blaine nodded as his stuffed his hands into his pants’ pockets and made his way back inside, posture slumped.

Sebastian leaned up against the side of the building. Being friends with both Blaine and Kurt was going to be exhausting for the next little while. At least until Kurt went back to New York in a couple of days.

 

Sebastian didn’t hear from Kurt at all and wasn’t aware that he had left for New York until a couple of days after the fact. Curiosity and worry aside, he figured it was for the best that Kurt maintain some distance. Especially in light of his conversation with Blaine a couple of days after their encounter at the Lima Bean.

“I love Kurt. I’m just not inlove with him anymore. He left and everything was fine for the first little while. But then it got to the point where the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’ became a lot more true than I thought it could ever be. I stopped thinking about him and there were even instances where I’d find myself thinking about things as though I were single. I started planning a future for myself and Kurt wasn’t a deciding factor. Then we’d manage to make one of our scheduled skype dates and I’d feel like the world’s biggest jerk. I’d see him, talk to him, and the guilt would take over. I’d spend the next couple of days over-compensating, though I’m sure he saw it as me being romantic.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him?”

“Because he’s Kurt. Anyone would be lucky to have him give them a glance and I had his heart. I didn’t want to be the one to crush him…” Blaine noticed the disgruntled look Sebastian gave him. “I know I wound up doing exactly that. I probably could have saved some of the hurt by just being honest from the start. But I didn’t realize how much things had changed until it was too late. I know I’m at fault here. But I deserve to be happy, too. Don’t I?”

Sebastian wanted to retort, but really, he couldn’t. He could see where Blaine was coming from. Unfortunately there was no bad guy in this situation. He wished there was. It always helps to have someone to blame and make them the villain of the story.

“I doubt he’ll even consider me a friend, and I’ll work to one day have him in my life in that capacity. But for now, I think it’s best if I just stay away.”

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” Sebastian agreed.

“But, since I know you’ll probably talk to him, just know I will ask how he is.”

“From what I’ve seen lately, you probably won’t like the answer.”

Blaine slumped back into the couch, nodded, and turned his attention to the rain that was beating against the window.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt couldn’t stay in Lima much longer. Too much meaning was to be found everywhere he went and in everything he saw. Without any details, he briefly summed up what had happened to Burt, who reluctantly agreed to try to get him an earlier flight back to New York. Blessing of all blessings, a flight on the same airline was found and that is how Kurt found himself  back in the New York City loft he shared with Rachel, who was thankfully at NYADA for the day.

He unpacked his bags very methodically and with great care while music swelled throughout the loft, drowning out any desire to think. He then sent out an email to Isabelle at vogue.com  letting her know that he was back in town and would be back to work the next day.

The rest of the day was spent re-cataloguing his wardrobe and preparing himself for Rachel’s inevitable return and the interrogation that would most certainly accompany it.

“Kurt?! You’re home early.”

“Yeah...what can I say?” Kurt gave Rachel what he hoped was a hug with enough enthusiams. “I really missed New York.” He knew it was a bad lie.

“What about Blaine? Didn't you have a whole week worth of plans with him?” Her voice was steady, but her eyes held a sadness as though she knew, or at least suspected, that something had happened, and that that something was bad.

Kurt closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “Okay. Rachel, I love you so I’m going to be straight with you. All I ask is that you keep any questions you might have to yourself, and I promise that when I’m ready to really talk about it that you will be at the top of my list of people to confide in. Deal?”

“Of course. As long as you know that I am here for you. Whatever you need.” She hung her coat and made her way to the couch.

Kurt nodded but remained standing. “Blaine broke up with me. I don’t want to go into it. I just want to throw myself into my work at vogue and prep for my next NYADA audition. Not to mention all the essays and forms for my safety schools. I just want to keep busy until I’m ready to deal with it.”

Rachel really wanted to dive into the many questions whizzing through her head, but seeing Kurt so adamant about not being ready, she pursed her lips together and nodded. Of course she couldn’t contain the sadness she felt for Kurt and did give him a hug, keeping it short enough that he wouldn’t succumb to everything the hug meant.

“Well then, I have some school stuff to work on, but I guess I should head to the store to get some stuff. Haven’t stocked up since before you left.”

“I can do it. Some fresh air would be welcome and then you don’t have to keep it down on my account. Any requests?”

“Nothing heavy? I have dance first thing in the morning and want to avoid being bloated. I need to avoid giving Ms. July any reason to to come down on me.”

“Alright, I’ll just see what looks good when I get there.” Kurt smiled. A genuine smile. This was exactly how he had hoped the conversation with Rachel would go. He was honestly quite surprised at her restraint.

Stepping out into the cool November air, Kurt paused to take in the city. Bushwick might have a less than desirable reputation, but it really had become his home in the last couple of months. The artist community was large and inviting, and no matter where you went you were always a short walk from a park or some kind of green space.

This was home now. Kurt used to think that home was wherever Blaine was, but clearly he had put far too much stock in that now failed relationship. Now it was time to put himself first in everything.

So that’s exactly what he did.

Kurt thrived at Vogue. So much that he had begun to branch out as far as which schools he prepared applications for. On top of NYADA was Parson, NYU, Tisch, and FIT.

He also began attending more work relation functions and parties. At one such party he met Jared from advertising. While gay, there was no attraction or desire to pursue anything other than friendship which made it all the more easy for the two to bond. Jared pulled Kurt out of his Lima mindset and showed him the side of New York that every young single person should experience.

Kurt was hesitant at first. For one, he knew his fake I.D. would not stand up to New York standards. Secondly, after that failed experience at Scandals he wasn’t sure if the nightlife that Jared wanted to show him would be his cup of tea.

Of course Jared wouldn’t hear it.

“Tonight we are going to Red.” Jared’s hands slammed enthusiastically onto Kurt’s desk. “You’ve talked yourself out of the night life long enough. I know for a fact that you don’t have to work tomorrow, so party into the night we shall!”

Before Kurt could form an objections Jared had sprinted away; leaving behind a very well made fake I.D.

What could it hurt?

So that night Kurt pulled on his best skinnies and style his hair just so. Looking the mirror he thought very hard about what tonight could mean for him. It could go one of two ways. Way number one, he sulks at the bar before calling it an early night. Way number two, he puts himself out there, using it as a chance to move forward. He knew that there would be no way that he would find anything serious at a bar, which was all the better because the last thing on his mind was anything meaningful. It couldn’t hurt to dance and flirt a little and he could definitely use a bit of an ego boost.

So fun was exactly what he intended to have.

Of course he hadn’t intended on waking up the next morning with no memory of how he got home, let alone how where he had been that night.

 

 

*********************************************************************

Dalton had become monotonous for Sebastian. Thanks to the advanced classes he had taken in France paired with the accelerated curriculum of an elite private school there were few things academically that he found challenging. Most challenging was convincing himself to attend classes, during which he often did little to nothing.

Luckily he could get away with less than the bare minimum of effort. Other than end of semester exams (for which he was plenty prepared), his early graduation in December was already assured. No one other than his parents and the faculty were privy to that fact.

With all that said, he had started to skip the last class of the day to head over to the Lima Bean to meet up with Blaine who generally got out from school just as Sebastian arrived.

Coffee sustained Sebastian. Kurt had guessed right when he had asked exasperatedly whether Sebastian lived there.

With Kurt drifting away from his life in Lima, Sebastian relied heavily on Blaine for companionship. With early graduation a sure thing, he had left the Warblers seeing as he would only be around for sectionals. An unfortunate side effect of that decision was that he only saw any Warblers during classes since the new captain insisted on daily meetings and practice sessions.

While it was no longer the same as when Kurt had been there to reign in Sebastian’s snarkiness, he and Blaine managed a comfortable silence while they attended to their own homework or book. Occasionally Alex would join them, though Sebastian had yet to show much of a willingness to be civil.

Truthfully, Alex was a nice guy. Had circumstances been different, Sebastian could see himself liking the guy. But, things being as they were, Sebastian couldn’t manage it, even after hearing the whole account from Blaine on how everything came to be.

That day it was just Sebastian and Blaine, for which Sebastian was grateful.

“So, there’s something I should probably tell you.” Sebastian had decided that it was time to let Blaine know what was going on.

Blaine lifted his eyes from the book he was reading. Seeing Sebastian appear a little nervous prompted him to dog ear his page before giving his friend his full attention.

“I haven’t told anyone yet, other than my parents of course, but I figure that as one of my best friends you should know that I might not be around after Christmas.”

Blaine’s face fell as his heart sank into his stomach. “Oh god! Please tell me you aren’t dying!” Blaine’s hands snatched up Sebastian’s and gripped them tightly.

“Easy there, Tiger.” Sebastian pried his hands away. “Not dying. Not even sick. I’m just graduating a semester early and providing that these letters,” he pulled four envelopes from his bag, “contain good news I’ll be heading off and away for winter semester of my freshman year.”

Blaine was in a state of stunned, wide-eyed silence.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal about it in case I didn’t hear back from any schools or if Dalton decided to repeal the decision and make me finish out the year.”

A wide grin spread across Blaine’s face, lighting up his puppy dog eyes, as he rose to envelope Sebastian in a vice-like hug. “That’s amazing!”

Still not accustomed to Blaine’s brand of enthusiastic affection, Sebastian squirmed slightly, but lightly returned the hug. He smiled. “Yeah. I guess it is, isn’t it?”

“Well?!” Blaine pulled back and sat back down, eyeing the still sealed envelopes. “What are you waiting for? Lets open those slightly intimidating pieces of paper!” Blaine’s enthusiasm, as ever, was infectious just as much as it was overwhelming.

Four envelopes. One each from Columbia, NYU, Dartmouth, and Johns Hopkins. Once all was said and done he had been accepted to NYU and Johns Hopkins.

“Are you waiting for any other letters?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah...but those are just for safety schools in case all of these rejected me.” Sebastian stared down at his two acceptances letters, his mind raced over all the factors that would contribute to his decision.

“Any idea which you’re going to choose? Or better yet, why those schools?”

“Johns Hopkins has a high ranking mens lacrosse team. NYU is in New York, and was my fall back if Columbia didn’t work out. Both have a diverse program selections, which is was a key factor, since I’m not 100% certain what I want to do in the first place..”

“So you have a lot of thinking to do,” Blaine said matter-of-factly.

Sebastian just nodded. Blaine was right. There were too many pros and cons. In the end Sebastian would have to figure out what kind of priorities he wanted to have.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update. I had a different version typed out and ready to go...but it was really dark and explicit and had the story going into a direction that I wasn't sure I would have been able to finish. 
> 
> Just know that Kurt's blacking out will be explained and that there is no worse case scenario happening. It will still suck for him...but I really want things to start looking up for him, sooner rather than later.


	5. Interlude: The Break Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did the break up between Kurt and Blaine go down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I'm a terrible person who fails at updates... 
> 
> This fic is not abandoned. Real life just tends to get in the way and a new puppy in the house is very time consuming. Inspiration has been a little lost on me as well. So I went digging in my google drive and found a random snippet I wrote.

= Flashback =

Kurt knew the moment he saw Blaine in the Lima Airport and hugged him that something wasn’t quite right. The hug lacked warmth and his smile was forced. But then again, glee club is in last week of rehearsals for Grease so he figured Blaine was just tired, even though he had chosen to take on the much smaller role of Teen Angel instead of the offered role of Danny. Kurt had tried asking Blaine why he had turned it down, but Blaine had said that he just didn’t want a lead role this year after playing Tony the year before.

The drive to Kurt’s house was quiet, the radio filling the silence between the two of them. Blaine helped Kurt bring his bags into the house, and when Kurt leaned it to kiss him… He froze.

“I don’t think it’s fair for either of us to keep this going...”

“What?” Confusion laced Kurt’s face as well as his voice.

“I want us to go back to just being friends,” Blaine continued.

“No.” Kurt rose, defiant.

“Kurt...”

“NO! We can talk about this. Work it out. If there’s a problem, we can fix it.”

“Kurt -”

“Don’t just give up on us, Blaine!” Tears were streaming down Kurt’s face. 

“I didn’t just give up, Kurt. I’ve been fighting for us since the day you left for New York. But everything is too difference. We are too different. You know we’ve both changed, you more so.”

“So because I’m not the same person I was before moving to New York you don’t want me anymore?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that...”

“Why?” said weakly.

Blaine looked down at his hands before say in barely louder than a whisper, “I just don’t love you like that anymore.”

After a moment of stunned silence, Kurt made his way to stand next to his bedroom door. “You should go now.” His voice was flat and disbelieving.

Blaine nodded as he walked out of the room. As he turned towards Kurt to try to explain at least a little bit, the door slammed in his face. He flinched before whispering under his breath, “But I do still love you...”

= End Flashback =


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too sure how I feel about how this chapter came out. It went in a different direction than I had planned and writing it was a little...forced. This should be the last of the Kurt torture and things should start looking up for our boy from here on out.

Kurt woke slowly. Consciousness overcame him while his eyes remained shut. His head ached. He slowly opened his eyes and as his world came into focus he saw that he was in his room. While he would have felt relieved, for the most part he was just confused.

He remembered leaving the loft and meeting with Jared, but past that… nothing.

Kurt checked his phone’s text and call history, but past when his memory blanked, there was nothing. Nothing to explain why he had lost …

He glanced at his clock to see that it was 10:56am.

… 14 hours of his life.

No need to panic. If ever there was a time to be calm, now would be it.

Trying to walk himself through the last 24 hours proved to be fruitless, and forcing himself to analyze every moment only added to his hangover headache.

Kurt headed to the bathroom to shower, and while he went through the motions he was sure to inspect himself, if only to make sure he was physically okay. He seemed fine. There were no bruises, scrapes, or any sign of physical damage. He wasn’t sore anywhere… well, other than the persistent throb of his head.

All the same, that he could remember anything had him worried. So he sent Jared a text.

What exactly happened last night. I’m a little fuzzy.

Kurt waiting a few minutes with his phone in his hand hoping that a reply would come immediately, but it never did. So he went about his morn…afternoon, thankful that Rachel planned on staying with a friend closer to campus that night to work some choreography.

It was easy to get swept up in the rest of the day, the lack of anything physically wrong with him helped. So he cleaned, baked cookies, and worked on a new blazer.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Kurt dashed towards the door, assuming Jared was coming around and would hopefully have some answers.

As Kurt drew the door open, “Jared, hopefully you were a bit more clear headed - “.

But it wasn’t Jared at the door.

“Who is Jared and what have you been up to, Princess.”

“Sebastian?”

Kurt stood frozen in surprise, mind racing to remember if he had forgotten that Sebastian was coming to town. It was not a good day for surprises.

“The one and only.” Sebastian smirked while leaning casually against the door frame.

Kurt remained silent, his breathing became shallow and strained.

“Kurt? Are you okay?” Sebastian placed a hand on Kurt’s shoulder. “I realize this is a surprise but I didn’t think it was a bad one.”

Kurt crumpled to the floor as he tried to focus on his breathing as everything he had spent the afternoon pushing back came rushing forward.

“Kurt?!”

Sebastian's shoulder bag dropped to the floor as he rushed down to Kurt’s side. He knew Kurt wasn’t in the best head space since he and Blaine broke up, but he was not expecting to find Kurt so broken.

“I - “ Kurt choked in a breath. “I’m r-really not… okay.”

Sebastian held Kurt. Right there on the floor with the door wide open. “You will be.”

 

* * *

 

Once Kurt was calmed down and relocated to the couch, Sebastian filled him in on his academic situation.

“I’m only in town for a few days while I scope out some apartments. Mom and Dad figure that since I’m technically out of highschool that I may as well start taking care of myself like any other adult. So, here I am, all by my lonesome hoping that I can depend on the kindness of a local.”

“So you need a place to sleep. Why don’t you just stay at a hotel?”

“Why do that when I can impose upon you.” Sebastian winked. After a few moments of silence Sebastian asked quietly, “So earlier…”

Kurt froze, having hoped that he wouldn’t have to talk about it. But nothing gets past Sebastian and if he tries to avoid it Sebastian will only pester him until he caves.

“I’m a mess.”

“I thought things were getting better after you got back to New York.”

“They were.” Kurt spoke as though trying to convince himself. “I mean, I pretended they were. Truth is… I don’t know who I am anymore. I look in the mirror and I don’t know who it is I’m looking at. So I try to stay busy and distracted. But last night - “ Kurt cut himself off to breath.

“Last night, what?” Sebastian prompted.

“I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell me.” Kurt fell back into the couch, clutching a throw pillow.

“You blacked out?”

“I guess? I assume I drank judging by my hangover...but I don’t remember anything past when I met up with Jared to when I woke up this morning.” When Kurt looked up at Sebastian his friends face was tense as though trying to remain neutral.

“Who is Jared?” he asked.

“‘Bas…”

“Kurt. Who is Jared?”

Kurt sat up, still holding the pillow to his body.

“‘Bas, I know you care. But I really just want to forget about the disaster that is my life at the moment. Maybe I’ll fill you in...but if I don’t, please just let it go.”

Sebastian stood and headed to the door. “I need to go grab a few things I left down in car.” And he left.

Kurt breathed out. Not in relief or exasperation. But he was holding his breath. Everything was a mess and he knew he would have to deal with his life sooner or later, but for now it was easier to just pretend.

Sebastian didn’t know what to think. Once upon a time back in Lima, despite their tense beginnings, they had opened up to each other. He even convinced himself that there were no secrets between them. That illusion quickly dissipated when the golden duo broke up and now Sebastian didn’t know where any of his friendships stood.

He knew it was naive to think that there weren’t any secrets between them. Everyone has something to hide. What he hated the most was that so much was going on around him and he didn’t know about any of it. He was frustrated. He wanted to hit someone...or at least threaten them.

Stepping out into the streets of Bushwick was suffocating. But he pulled it together. No point in screaming, not that anyone would care. He went to his car (which he knew Kurt would tease him about at some point) to gather the rest of his things.

As he approached the building entrance he realized he forgot to prop the door open so that he could get inside. So he buzzed Kurt.

“Hello?” Kurt’s voice was static-y through the ancient speaker.

“Hey Kurt, no one’s here to let me in this time. Buzz me in?”

“Yeah.” The door vibrated along with the electric buzz of the lock giving way.

“Going up to see Kurt?” a voice asked from behind him.

Holding the door open just a fraction, Sebastian turned to see who it was. Blond hair, grey eyes, and a cheeky smile greeted him. Sebastian supposed the guy was attractive, but something about his smile irked him.

“And you are?”

“Jared. A friend of Kurt’s from work.” Jared extended his arm and offered his hand.

Sebastian stared at him as though more information was needed.

Jared retracted his hand, slightly offended. “Anyways...I need to return this to Kurt.” Jared pulled a scarf from his bag. “Things got a little crazy last night and he forgot his scarf.”

“Speaking of last night,” Sebastian jumped at his chance to get some information, “care to tell me why Kurt doesn’t remember anything?”

“Oh that,” Jared scoffed. “Just a little pick me up. Kurt had been tense and moping for weeks. He needed to loosen up and have some fun.” Jared smiled as though he had done some kind of good need. This just pissed off Sebastian.

“You drugged him.” Sebastian saw red. He snatched the scarf from Jared’s hand.

“Please, nothing happened. He danced. He drank. He went home. Worse case scenario he has a hangover.”

Sebastian grabbed Jared by his jacket and pushed him against the side of the building. “I don’t care if you think you’re his god damned fairy godmother. From here on out, stay the hell away from Kurt!”

 

* * *

 

Kurt waited for Sebastian to come back up after buzzing him in. But after he didn’t appear after a few minutes, worry got the best of him.

I guess blacking out means I’m going to be paranoid for the foreseeable future, he thought to himself.

As he climbed down he could hear Sebastian yelling, catching only the end of it.

“- stay the hell away from Kurt!”

“‘Bas - “ Kurt’s eyes popped wide when he saw Jared pushed against the building. “What the hell Sebastian!?” Kurt pried Sebastian away from Jared, hand staying on his chest to stop him from charging back.

“You want to know what the hell? Ask Jared.”

“Jared?” Kurt looked at him, hoping someone would say something.

“Whatever.” Jared pushed away from the wall and walked off.

“Care to explain what the hell happened here?” Kurt asked as he spun back towards Sebastian, who was storming back into the building. So Kurt followed, not catching up until they were in the stairwell. “Sebastian!”

Sebastian stopped mid step. For all the rage, he knew Kurt wasn’t the one to take it out on. Kurt was the victim.

“You don’t remember last night because Jared drugged you.” Slowly, Sebastian let his gaze fall onto Kurt, gaging his reaction.

His reaction was blank. His eyes were empty as he stared off into the air. They stood like that, silent for what felt like minutes but was really only seconds before Kurt slowly walked past Sebastian.

Kurt felt well and truly broken. He tried to trust someone again, and was betrayed again. Drugged. He was drugged.

Sebastian followed quietly behind him. His thoughts racing. Thoughts about how he should have stopped to think before jumping and telling Kurt the way he did. How he should have tried to step back and let things happen in a slightly less blunt way. But that was his way. Do what the moment dictates with little thought to how it will affect others.

He followed Kurt into the loft and stopped when Kurt shut himself in the bathroom. The sound of dry heaves and splashes echoing.

Sebastian sat on the floor outside the bathroom. “I’m sorry, Kurt,” he whispered.

 

* * *

 

The next couple of days passed quietly. Sebastian found an apartment. Kurt kept himself busy with work (though he avoided Jared at all costs) and preparing to re-audition for  NYADA. They didn’t talk about what had happened with Jared. They didn’t talk about Blaine. They kept everything light and avoided anything heavy.

After Sebastian left New York to finish up the year in Ohio, they agreed that they should try to keep in touch more often, which they did, although they avoided topics that held any importance outside of academic and professional achievements.

Things were strained, but both boys hoped that time and a new year would bring clarity.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright...I've been convinced. I'm working on another chapter ;)


End file.
